As part of this, W (and any future children) will also have dual citizenship and all the rights and privileges that come with it–mainly the chance to live wherever we/they wish within the European Union (as well as the UK). In fact, W will be granted his British citizenship this fall! Well before G and I.

So, today’s a big day for us. Who would have dreamed that this would’ve been true. Me, a Virginia farm girl, having never traveled outside the US (not counting Canada) before 2004. And G, who decided to be a Bradley Scholar over applying to become a Rhodes Scholar as he ‘didn’t want to live in the UK’.

We’re quite literally an ocean apart from the McMansion and stead which we might have dreamed for ourselves upon our marriage 10 years ago. Just goes to show that ‘life plans’ are made to change…thank you to our family and friends for being so supportive as our plans have evolved.

I expressed milk every 3 hours at every turn along the 72 hour jaunt. Fun, fun But, if anyone ever needs tips on pumping in the loo in flight, I’m your girl…

In all seriousness, it was a lot of fun! My sister and her husband had a small wedding on the beach and everything went as planned. Upon returning to the UK, some said that I seemed surprised that my sister had pulled things off…in hindsight, I was! To my mind, she’ll always be the 9 year old that I left behind upon moving off to college…

Well done to Kellie & Patrick Johnson…may you find marriage to be a true treasure and never-ending pipeline of fun [interspersed with only enough worry to make you appreciate the good times]. We love you!

Going in, I wasn’t sure of what to expect, but knew it would be a huge party and a fun day out. Unlike protestant ceremonies which can be done within 10-15 minutes, many Indian ceremonies last for DAYS! In India, my understanding is that they’re typically 3 days…and up to 500 will attend. Imagine?!?!?

This ceremony was abbreviated to just shy of two hours, but still quite long by comparison to more typical western standards. Traditionally, Indian wives would leave their families and be joined to their husbands upon marriage. Given the difficulties of travel, etc, wives would seldom, if ever, be able to see their own families again and, hence, many of the traditions of the Indian Hindu ceremony are a tad solemn.
While I’m sure to get loads of the details wrong, here are a few things I noticed:

• Bride’s Presence: A huge portion of the ceremony takes place before the bride even enters the room. Presumably, this is because the soon to be husband is negotiating for the bride’s hand?
• GORGEOUS Costumes: The bride and groom’s ivory, gold and red costumes are absolutely stunning!
• Best Reception Food Imaginable: Either Indian food naturally lends itself toward catering for the masses, or our friends found the most incredible Indian caterer to be found. YUM! Our table even requested seconds!
• Photobooth: What a cool idea?! The happy couple hired in a photobooth to take photos which would accompany each’s guest’s signature in the guest book.

Our friends have been together for 3 years +/- and they’re are a really handsome couple–and a perfect match. And though my sleep deprived mind made conversation a bit difficult, I was honoured to attend the festivities.

The last 3 months have gone by so quickly…and we now more fully understand the statement ‘they grow up so fast’. Upon our last post, W was still rather new and we were all still just getting acquainted. Now, we all have grown comfortable with one another and are venturing closer to the ‘new normal’.

So, I’ve been humbled in motherhood. Upon reading the books last winter, we felt that we had it all figured out. We would:

1. Have baby on a schedule within the first month

2. Resist the temptation of co-sleeping and feeding the baby to sleep

3. Never, ever let baby sleep on his tummy

4. Pump enough milk within the first weeks in order to feed baby during the 3 days I would be away in early July (for my sister’s wedding)

These and countless other rules/goals were pushed to the wayside when reality set in. Apparently, rules are meant to be broken and parenthood has a way of humbling us all into knowing that we are no longer in control. We feel confident that we’re making the best choices that we can under the circumstances, but it’s not as easy as the books would make it seem.

That said, we feel so blessed to have little W as part of our clan…he’s a little treasure and we wouldn’t trade him. Just this week he’s found his hands and feet…and, of course, he’s a smiley boy. We’re loving life as a family of three…

How surprised we were on Sunday when Walker whinnied like a horse! He’s a good mimic and we think he was attempting to copy our laughter, but it sounds just like the pony ‘he begged for in utero’…and makes me giggle every time. Now, because he’s gotten positive reinforcement from us, he makes the sound ALL the time. And it melts us to the core. Ahhh…motherhood.

In other news, he also copies our facial expressions. Moulding a little person is a crazy, new (and fun) experience for us. So far, so good.

Surprises

• Who needs a diaper bag? Everything we need for a few hours out will fit in the pram basket.
• Logic and parenting books go out the window when your baby cries at 4am. At that point, baby gets what he wants.
• Breastfeeding is hard work. And just when you figure it out, someone ‘moves your cheese’.

In denial, I had chalked up all the various early labour signs and signals to my imagination throughout the weekend. We had just returned from our friend Lottie’s bank holiday barbeque at 10:30pm and gone to sleep at 11:30. Then, at 1am, I felt that I needed to go to the loo (not abnormal). Only, when I stood up, my waters gushed out! G had to grab a bucket.

At 36 weeks and 6 days (1 day short of term), G and I stared at each other, still in denial, I tried to convince myself that I had simply wet myself (I think this is the ONLY scenario that could conceivably cause me to think that wetting myself is the possible upside ). Once we emerged from denial, I took a shower and tried to convince myself I could go back to sleep. After an hour of contractions, they were nearly 2 minutes apart and we decided to call the hospital. They advised us to come in immediately…we waited until 3am to call the taxi.

He was stuck in my birth canal for many hours, attempting to come down with his hand by his face. 29 hours of labour later (and 45 hours since waking from our last night’s rest), W was born at 6:20am on the 27th. Delivery was tricky…and, as a result, he was a bit battered and bruised upon arrival. The poor little guy was swollen and a bit grumpy whenever anyone went near his head or neck, for good reason.We’ve since had a cranial osteopath in to adjust his head and neck and W is now much happier.

Luckily, hormones have led me to forget the details of labour and delivery

Since arriving home on the 29th of April, we’ve gotten to know one another. Though we generally stick close to home,we have ventured out for the odd meal out and a few other jaunts. And getting out has really helped me to recover–I feel more like myself when out and about and able to walk around the borough. Without our walks, I would have been miserable.

So back to the theme for this post. Motherhood has brought many surprises. Amongst them:

1. W has a mind and strong will all his own. Our job is to guide him, he will not allow himself to be tightly controlled.

2. Though we’re not currently working, there’s no free time. Tending to W takes about 8-10 hours per day and we cram whatever we would normally do into the remaining time. So much for leisure reading and cafe breaks…for now.

3. Breastfeeding is hard work! Though I realise it’s different for every person, I’ve found it to be overwhelmingly difficult. Building one’s milk supply takes so much focus and dedication that it leaves little time for anything else.

4. W is noctural and transitioning him to our cycle is nearly impossible at such a young age. We’ll get there, but have had to reset expectations that he may get to where we want him to be in month 1, not week 1.

5. They advise that you pack your hospital bag 4 weeks early…and it’s for good reason. I honestly thought he would bake until June! (Ha!)

6. A smile from W makes it all worth it (trite, I know…and yes, I realise it’s just gas )

While in the past this site has been devoted, generally, to our travel adventures and life abroad, it’s become clear over the last few months that we’re transitioning. Our wings have been clipped and we’re now those stereotypical ‘Baby’ people. Most of our free time is spent reading books about what to buy, where to buy it, how to care for Baby, what to expect… and at classes about the same… Baby First Aid, HypnoBirthing (kind of like Lamaze) and NCT (the UK’s leading non-profit for parents).

Of course, we’re still making time to have nice dinners out, picnics in the park, evening walks through the borough, drinks with friends (though my drinks are decidedly boring) and nights at the theatre. It’s just that my travel planning, travel, blogging and Facebook time have now been replaced by baby-prep. And my ‘pleasure reads’ have now taken a turn toward non-fiction babycare (i.e. how not to raise a maniac ).

Most of folks’ questions seem to center around 5 themes… so to bring you up to speed on what we’ve been up to and how things are going, I’ll address each…

1. Baby (Specifically Names) Baby would seem to be a happy, healthy little one (28 weeks in photo). We’ve had loads of scans and everything seems to be going as it should. He does still have a large head, but the rest of him would seem to catching up these days and he wiggles and nudges loads these days making it all seem way more real. The short of it is that we haven’t a clue of what our little guy will be called (It’s a Boy!) We do have a short list of 10ish names and plan to whittle it down to 3ish by the time Baby arrives next month. The plan is to announce Baby’s name once we meet him next month to ensure a good ‘fit’.

2. K: K’s well and has so far gained 20ish pounds (photo from today at 34 weeks 5 days, at left). She recently finished her 3 month agency contract and has returned to working with her small start-up clients independently from home. It’s a double-edged sword, really, as she misses being in a social work environment, but loves life without the rush hour commute into the City. Knock wood, she’s had no swelling, but she has suffered tinges of sciatica and acid reflux/heart burn as Baby’s still sitting very high. This week, she was able to go to the gym more and also had a pregnancy massage (Yay G! It was a Kim Appreciation Day Gift!) which together have provided a reprieve from the sciatica, making it possible for us to go for long-ish walks to the park and otherwise. We’re definitely feeling more ourselves…may the relief live on

3. The Nursery: Thanks to our parents, it’s coming together. Though we’re unable to paint the walls, we’ve made good progress and found ways of bringing in a bit of colour. The goal is for the room to be functional by the time we reach 36 weeks (t-minus 1 week 2 days). Then, we’ll just be left with the final bits of decorating… namely, making a floor to ceiling curtain to add a bit of colour and disguise the printer cart, finding appropriate artwork to replace that which is currently sitting on the cubby unit, and some sort of a fabric underskirting for Baby’s cot in order to infuse a bit more colour.

4. Due Date & Delivery: Baby’s due 18 May, though we’ve deemed the whole of May to be Baby’s Birth Month… who knows when he’ll decide the time is right. We’ve decided to have a natural birth (both our moms did it) at Whittington Hospital. Though we loved the idea of walking to the Royal Free from our flat, we didn’t love our experience there and decided to make a move. The Whittington’s a 10 minute ride away, the people are LOVELY and cheery (though still very professional) and we just feel more at home there. And, perhaps best of all, provided we’re able to have a natural birth with no complications, G will be able to stay in a private room with K & Baby up until discharge.

5. G: As you would likely expect, he’s beaming from ear to ear these days. We’re both very excited to meet our little guy come May. He has been a model partner, picking up the slack and being uber supportive when its needed most.

Struggling to break a sweat or raise my heart rate after the first half of the course, we were put into pairs for a few exercises. When making small talk, my partner who was 28 weeks said “Wow, this is quite the workout, don’t you think?”. A moment earlier, I had just been thinking that the whole thing was a bit surreal…a cake walk, really, and a tad pointless. But to fit with British custom, I did my best to be polite and find something to agree with…but it was hard.

A few minutes later, the only other person in the class who was 20 weeks laid down instead of carrying on with the exercises. They were too hard. Meanwhile, the rest of us carried on and finished the class with a 5 minute ‘healing nap’ complete with pillows between the legs…the whole shebang.

It felt a bit like a candid camera sketch. I got more exercise walking uphill home than participating in the class and opted to go to my usual gym for a ‘real’ workout later in the day. I felt pretty smug.

Though my trainer and I chalked the whole strange pregnancy yoga experience up to my being in the midst of the anorexic Primrose Hill set (there are two ways to stay fit…workout, or don’t eat…), I think there was something more at play. Now, eleven weeks on and 31 weeks’ pregnant myself, I’ve come upon a dawn of understanding. Our little guy’s growing up a storm these days, but as he’s a large baby, his weight and position is beginning to do strange things to my body. Within the last week or so, Baby’s begun to sit on nerves leaving me with a numb bum and achy tight thigh. And he’s crunching my lungs, making breathing a bit of a challenge. And eating enough for us both is a challenge due to my near constant heart burn and my stomach’s confinement, or so I would assume based on the position of Baby’s tickling toes…

I’ve continued to workout with my trainer once a week to ensure Baby’s safety and we’ve dialed things down to about 50-70% of what my routine used to be. But I feel that I now need to eat a bit of crow. While I’ve sailed through the first 7 months and really have little to no room to complain, bring on the pregnancy yoga and my nap

Walking out the front gate of our countryside haven tucked amongst the canals and rice paddies of rural Chiang Mai, we expected the day to start just as our others had…a short drive. Little did we realise that we would be ‘driving’ with pedal power from the start.

Our guide, a beautiful and kind Thai who goes by the western name Bud, met us outside the front gates with bicycles perfectly fitted to our height and weight in tow. While most ‘bicycle tours’ that his firm leads include 15-30 guests (as two other groups were sized on the day), Bud was ours and ours alone for the day. And what a gift that proved. We set out from our B&B, went at our own pace, had a mid-morning snack, paused for a long lunch and to appreciate scenic vistas, and were able to talk with him endlessly about the Thai culture and his 14 years spent as a Monk. G and I feel lucky every day, but this day with bud was especially charmed. We had the unlimited care and attention of our very own Thai local…

I hate lounging holidays…I really do. Given the winter weather in London, I prefer adventures and doing things outdoors when we’re away and able to score some sunshine. So, this was one of many such Babymoon ‘activities’ and ‘adventures’ to keep us suitably entertained. As such, we lost no time. We snaked our way through the rural lanes and dirt paths, avoiding cars and highways wherever possible. There were loads of lovely moments during our day on the cycles, but here I’ll focus on a simple few…

The River
There’s at least one river that runs through Chiang Mai. After a while cycling, we happened upon a few fishermen standing in the shallows, catching their dinner. The River was once the center of Chiang Mai’s commerce. While a 1 hour flight connected us to Chiang Mai from Bangkok, apparently most Thai people can’t afford to travel by Air and, instead, depend on buses. The ~18 hour bus journey to Bangkok may seem long. But, Bud said that not so long ago it would take WEEKS to reach Bangkok via the slow-moving river. Progress…

Teak
Once upon a time, Thailand struck peace with its neighbors by providing them with unlimited supplies of Teak. And the local supplies seem not to have dwindled based on the woodworking shops and furniture markets that abound around Chiang Mai. There’s GORGEOUS and inexpensive furniture available…enough that one could outfit their entire home in a single afternoon, no matter your style or taste. Sadly, though, shipping costs wouldn’t prove kind. Alas, we limited ourselves to purchasing a set of three connected photo frames for Baby’s Room…for the equivalent of £4!!!!!! If only a gorgeous dining set would’ve fit into our luggage…

Rice and Smiles
As is true through much of the East, rice is good as gold. Without it, people’s diets would be insubstantial. And, at times during our cycle, we saw seemingly endless paddies. Given the wonderful weather, farmers in Chiang Mai are able to reap 3 crops of rice per year. And, lucky for us, during our ride, workers were planting a new crop in the fields. Standing at the roadside appreciating the process, we were struck by how joyful the workers seemed. There was much laughter and carrying on amongst them…smiles all around. From our experience, it would seem that Thailand is called the land of smiles for good reason…it’s not just a baseless marketing campaign, afterall.

Religion
Most Thai men serve as monks for 2-3 years in their youth. As monks, they go from door to door asking for alms (sp) and are obliged to eat whatever they’re given by their parishioners. This teaches monks to depend on others and to devalue material goods. In their eyes, they’re given sustenance through grace and must be kind, flexible and dependent. I’m probably misrepresenting things a bit here as my commentary is based on my impressions, but I will say that we found the Thai people to be some of the kindest, most helpful people we’ve encountered during our travels. Some part of this must be down to the fact that such a large portion of the population have experienced the humbling experience of life as a monk. By comparison, can you imagine an American teen eating only green beans and spam because that’s what they’ve been given? I know I wouldn’t have…but perhaps I would have become a better person had I been forced to endure such dependency (notice, I didn’t say hardship:)). More lightly, the temples are stunning. Every Single One.

Death
Cremation is king. But unlike the sterile western cremations, an overwhelming majority of Thai cremations are held open air in front of mourning friends and relatives (see photo at left). Before lighting the kindling, a coin is put between the teeth. And the skin is washed with the water from a freshly cracked coconut…believed to be the purest water. Floral garlands and decorations are placed atop the coffin and then the match is lit. A few family members sit with the body for the following hours and days as the smouldering coals cool and, finally, approach to gather up any large bones. The rest of the remains are left and the pit is never cleaned before the next service as locals believe that by cleaning the pit prematurely, you’re tempting the Gods to take another life. Most neighborhoods have their very own cremation site, making it easy for the community to attend the service and support their own.

Upon arriving back to our B&B, Bud informed us that we had cycled over 67 kilometers during our leisurely 8 hour jaunt, but I think it’s safe to say our learnings far outweighed the physical strain.

For those who don’t know…G and I aren’t morning people. And I become grumpy when hungry (not just while pregnant)…so grumpy that G regularly carries ‘Kimberly snacks’ to fend off my feisty when the lull between meals stretches too long.

It’s funny because when someone’s getting married, buying a house, moving house or otherwise, these things also naturally crop up in just about every conversation (trust us, we know!). But, there’s a certain stigma against ‘those people’ who talk about their expected additions non-stop. If only there were a button to make us stop…but it’s impossible. It’s a huge looming change and it’s constantly on our minds. Oh, well…

Though we’ve had loads of adventures over our nearly 10 years of marriage and 14 years together, this is the single most impactful change we’ll have experienced. And it would be irresponsible for us not to prepare ourselves, right?

Keeping with the theme, we booked ourselves into a Baby and Child First Aid course for this past weekend.  During the 8 hour course, we learned how to dress various cuts and scrapes typical in children, treat burns, do CPR on an infant (and small child), clear a choking baby’s esophagus, construct various slings, etc. With any luck, we’ll actually remember what we learned when/if we ever need it. But, regardless, it makes us feel a bit better to have had a brief intro to the basics.

Sweetly, G was called out in front of the class for cuddling his ‘baby’. Poor thing has to wait a whole 4 months before the ‘real model’ arrives [I need to start taking photos of these things!]

Today, we had our 23 week check-up. All’s well and baby’s heart beat was strong. And my weight gain continues to be slow and steady (though it has sped up a bit now, as should be the case). And our doctor even gave me tips and advice for dressing during later pregnancy (apparently she’s been through it 3 times, herself). I love the NHS (the UK’s public healthcare system). Though we were well today, our doctor spent a full 30 minutes chatting with us and talking through various things to expect in the coming weeks. It’s so refreshing to have great doctors-especially at the moment.